5. If there are not enough weird and wacky "coincidences" then this is not true love. It can’t be easy, it must be serendipitous.
7. Secretaries seem to sleep with everyone.
8. You must do something really awful to people you think you love. This way you test whether or not they will love you despite the fact that you got them fired, kidnapped their baby or called their mother a whore.
9. You should be really clumsy around guys you are trying to impress. This will result in lots of embarrassing situations that will magically make him fall in love with you. What’s more attractive than finding your future wife face down in the fish-display? Am I right?